All the bitter....苦的开始~

from the beganing of this year....
today..i went to a place....
everytime i'm not in mood...feel sad...
i will went there...
there is peace then other place...

A whole day in class...
I start feel bitter...
don't know why??
what actually i want??
I get lose to anywhere.....
I really feel lonely...some  sadness too...

i thought bitter will be past...
but...that is not...

BITTER is the word i may use to
represent my feeling....

I told myself before...
" that will be all right...
just continue to other new way..
bitter is ok also...
nvr mind at all....."

I comfort myself with that.....
just now...
I really can't motivate myself to do..
to be hardworking...
but at the end..what i did....
I can't ....i can't survive...
i did wrongly...
i get stuck again and again!

i already used 1 month time...
i don't want to be like that...
that is so nasty.....
today i'm not friendly to anyone...
that is not me....

A whole day.....
i can't find out what is the problem is~~
I HATE MYSELF....

although many many time i comfort myself
i have a sadness in my eye...
i have a bitter feeling in my heart...
i have a body that is not belong to me..
I'm OUT OF CONTROL

no matter how i try.....
i must control my feeling...
this will throughly affected me.....
the bitter feeling....
make my mood badly...
nothing can be done successfully...
and i feel no one can help me....

真的很难顶~ ~
感觉上很难受~
在很不清醒的状态下咯~
我好像迷失了那样~
不知所措~
更 讨厌自己~
我的心都涌着一股 “苦”的味道~
我快透不过气了~
很难受~
为何我那么不成熟？？？？
开学的第一天~
就这么苦....接下来怎么办？？
我很苦~ 我明白苦的道理, 但到头来....
还是觉得苦.........
苦...苦...苦....

I hate myself
why can't be happy?
why can't stop thinking?
why can't try to remove it?
how the next step?

I STILL IN THE WORST SITUATION...
BITTER AT ALL >>>

maybe i really really need more and more time....
to recover...is so hard~!
 sorry....