I couldn't find myself

Looking around....
my way is like now..
what's going on?
the sky is start dim...slowly dark and dark....

These days...
i look at the sky...
i love dark more than bright....
Dark pretend my feeling...
when dark i no need to face the problem....
these make me seriously confuse...
i lock myself....
i'm not really...
that is not me.......
everyday i  need to face the fact...
i asked my sister to scold me....
i mustn't do that anymore....
i must find other way to solve it...
i know...
but????
what i do these two days?
i did wrongly...
totally wrong....
how to do???????
someone help me??
how to do????
don't know how to survive....

where is mine??
where is the tough and strong Kelly Lam????
i couldn't find myself.//////