无奈叻~~

我真是接受不到咯！
这餐我真是很用心去做~
我知我妈不吃茄，
但她吃茄汁嘛，所以我已经将它搓烂，
跟tomato source 没分别的~
但是她竟然不吃！

难道用心的一餐她就不能尝试吃下嘛？
心痛咯！

一心一意想将这餐弄好，
谁知？
心淡~ ~ ~

又一次失败！
究竟几时我才不用那失败？
人来的，有感觉的！
T__T

LOST...hope...dream...

一直以来我对自己承诺
我说过，
我要做一个accountant...
不止，而是一个有名有实力的
charted accountant...

是，charted accountant 是不容易，
或者有很多人都认为，
这行好赚....
很多钱发达tim...

我从六年级开始，
我的志愿“会计师”
那时的我又怎知会计师要面对滴麽啊~
就是认为我数学行，
计数jek，不难得~ ~

到了我form 4 的那一年，
选科，我没放弃过account这一科，
我是很确定我要拿这一科，
但是我自己在的那一班却没account
当时我真是不知怎选，
因为只有A班有....
一，我的姊妹朋友都在B班
二，我知我自己的能力...
我真是很担心我自己会不适应，
精英班，我只是一个很普通的学生，
我认为我没那得能力！不够班~ ~

考虑了很久，
都 不知怎算的~
当时的感觉都几无奈~
最终我的确选了进A班，拿account...
因为我知道
要成功必须付出。

这些一切以前我辛苦争取的机会，
一次又一次跟自己说，
我要考好每一次的测验，
我更加要考好account....

但是这次是最后一次
最后一次结束我这两年的努力，
我很后悔没把握最后机会！
我很内疚~

一个accountant 怎可以做一盘
不balance 的数？？
怎可以啊？


我真是很怀疑我自己的能力~
我究竟适不适合再往
ACCOUNTANCY
这个行发展..........

"失败乃是成功之母"
我明...
我都失败过，
但是这次
我觉得我没办法原谅我自己
在考场上没能力将那份
account试卷考好~

我亏待于我自己的承诺...
亏待于一直以来我的梦想.....
惭愧......



CHARTED
ACCOUNTANT

没办法完成，
没办法实现，
的梦想...
i think that
will be a DREAM...
发梦~

2011.11.11

今天的我~

今天的日子很完美
可是
我却静静地过....

不是不开心....
有一个人寂寞的感觉~

最后的选择缺席，
最后的决定......

我很想的却是不能得到的东西！
偏偏就是这样~ ~
我最后还是会说“算了吧”
这次也不例外...
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

不提不开心的，
明天是我堂哥结婚叻~

她是香港人叻...
我觉得她很美！

刚才去了二伯那里吃buffet..

本来是很兴奋的，
本来很期待的，
怎知...........
不是cheese cake,
而是留连cake!!!!!!
哎
我吃了两口，
我的嘴里到现在都还有味道吖！！

臭臭！

这完美的一天怎么能少了

和家人一起度过呢！～～

哈哈

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

看见一个个堂哥堂姐都结婚去，
好开心哦！～
可是还是需要温习啦！
真担心！

ＳＰＭ
ＳＰＭ
Kelly Lam how can u score it???

hmmm...
信心啊信心．．．．
快快回来我身边 > <
.....

                                               L O V E

perfect 11

还记得去年 perfect 10

。。。

今年我们却不齐人....

我和大姐就到学校去，

二姐和三姐就去考车.....

好可惜哦....

完美的一天却不齐人

。。。。

不懂几时还有完美的日子...

不懂几时我们才能相聚在一起....

很多很多未知数~

以后的我们都不能预测~

现在的我们

和以后的我们....

人总会变....

只希望大家一切安好....

。。。。。。

但愿人长久，千里送婵娟~ ~

That was a perfect life.....
Be with them...
every moment the happy is endless....
Be with them ....
every sAdness gone....

They change my life...
they are my best best friend!!

your sound i will not forget'
your laugh i will not forget'
your face i will not forget'
your fault i will only forget'

YOUR FACE I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER

FRIEND FORVER****

若有下一世.....
我希望我们还是一班好朋友！！

 

school Life end...
our friendship will not end~!

倒数3天

....还是Sejarah~
哎~
又记不到又闷~

今天想记些快乐的事~

昨天我去了rawang
姑妈他们星期三从Australia回来，
阿嫲买了一个手袋给我，
很亮的~ 我很喜欢！！^ ^
姑妈买了一个kangaroo pencil case 给我
哈哈....我可以开动物园jor...
all of my pencil case are the animals...
=) special...

今天，我堂哥和他未来老婆拜祖先，
我们全部去阿麽那里...
一家人有说有笑....
今日是我们第一次看我堂哥德未来老婆...
她是来自香港的~很靓咯^^

这两天我去学校都没什么读书，
想想下我有点不舍得........
我们一班兄弟姐妹
在这几年大家都一起
学习，玩闹，庆祝.....
开心的不开心的大家都一起颠~
今天是我们的last day~
我们不能再一起上课了....

有点难过。。。
超不舍得的 ！！！

倒数5天

...
其实剩下的时间，
真的不多....
3天那样而已，
堂哥结婚那里将会用掉2天，
堂哥结婚大日子应该开心，
可是我确实挺害怕的！！

我好像还有很多还没读完叻！！！
怎么办？？

好怕~
好怕~

真希望时间别那么快~
可是这却无法改变~

之前听翠玲说，

时间不可能停，也不可能回到之前..
这些我们无办法改变jek，
但是我们自己可以掌握好时间。

 系咯，或者我可以做的，
只有把握好机会n时间！

我失败过那么多次，
我不想再令 daddy mummy失望，
我要做个有用人~
我要坐honda city
我要做charted accountant~ ~

时间只有那么“多”
尽力而为.....
A+ + + + + + + + + + + 




真的真的很希望能实现！~ ~
hopefully ^ ^
保佑我！   



Dream to AIM Future =}{=

hmm...that day i had a bad dream!
but yesterday night......
that was a rare dream~ ~
make me feel odd....
n...hehe....like a happy moment......

not bout exam.....
not bout drama or movie.......

i dream my future life~

in the dream.....
i live peacefully....
with a man who aim our life,
solve problems together n
live happily...

long time dont have this feeling ....

or i can say.....

i 'm scare bout this feeling too....

becoz

this feeling can come easily,

can come with unexpectedly,

attract with a strong feeling ;

but look in deep...

the more happy the more pain..

i will still believe the destiny..

the fate....no one will know the other second

what will going to happen...

i'm not going to regret any decision i made b4...

i will sure stay stronger...

coz i know many many things r important too...

finally i get  a conclusion after the dream!

 Before is before....
After whether is a rainy day or sunny day
all depends on what we do and how we plan...

throughout this few months....
i not dare to aim my future...
that was a pain block my heart block my feeling....
i feel my life no more colourful...
juz black n white.....

Although now i still cant find any rainbow....
i dont have 7 different colour together.......
but at least i can have some colour in my life...
n i have a hope to search for rainbow....
or maybe a simple life that is enough for me...

a simple life ...
a simple happy..

~    LIFE IS A SIMPLE ART  ~
when you found the acttractive of art,
you sure can feel art is amazing,
you will know how to appreciate the art。

人生是美好的，

活着是有意义的。。

一道彩虹，
一个美丽的人生，
一个充满希望的未来....

我的样子坚强麽？>.<
hehe...

病到7彩还要熬咯`~ ~ ~
one week to go...
dateline!!!!!
terrible....

喉咙又痛，痛完又伤风！

难顶！

看着那一叠又一叠得书，
好可怕叻~

但是当我想到我的dream car..City........

我有回活力jor...
不过，我还得努力.....
真是想拥有一样东西，
我想，
我应该可以不怕辛苦都要得到geh...
希望我不再半途而废咯~ ~

^ _ ^

哎，昨日发恶梦吖...

竟然是发到：成绩不理想！！！

哎~ ~ ~ ~ ~

真是有点怕！

辛苦~~真无奈！！

TIRED...

hmmm....
14 days/.....
like hell leh~!!
worry + nervous tim.....

after work hard 2 years ad
is time to test....
LUCK LUCK....come come...

today i go buy calculator..
the casher so nice...
she wish me "good luck"....

ermmm.....
sound good..give me support...

since she is nicely...
i also show my friendly face to her..
haha~~

she juz remind me that...
being friendly n nice to each other
can make a different situation...
not bad, buy a calculator can get a lesson...
i feel a bit bout the society...

Huh..nowaday..everyday post bout the bad news..
like snacth thief, flood, death,accident..
haizzz....
make me heart broke!
get fed up ~~
i cant feel save in the word nowaday..
that is the truth....
i was so tired ........no eye see...
so....................
GOOD NIGHT...........

sleep......
hope tomorrow will be better than today.....

结婚wedding2011

好事一件接一件~ ~
昨天喝jor我堂哥结婚那餐，
今日很特别，因为
我没想过17岁还可以做花女><
haha...
我还以为做戏才有呢~~



大好日子！





靓靓堂嫂~ ~



一对恩爱夫妻~ 白头到老~

这些人生美好回忆....
我在这想衷心祝福他们~
执子之手与子偕老~

令我最深刻的是，
我堂哥唱的那首
《爱是永恒》

哇！棒~ ~

有情人终成眷属~

Dont ever ever be a loser in life

I'm so disappointed...
Finally i know..
i was not get anythings that i wish to be!!

I saw a girl who is same age as me too...
but she already can drive a Peugeot...
and at that time..i was so surprise...
17 years old can drive a new n expensive car...
i also wish to be like her...
at the same time...
i think ..y i fail to achieve it??
what i get until 17th??

Now...i get nothing..
i'm not getting what i what !

like account...i said i want to be an accountant,
but till now...SPM is near n trial is ad past,
but...i still cant get my account paper 100%
correct...'
i should n also i must get it 100%
becoz be an accountant
all the calculation n formulars
i must able to solve it accurately n correctly..
I FAIL TO DO IT...

i aim to get a car...I want Honda City,
i dont think Honda City is expensive than
Peugeot...
but i'm not affortable to do it so...
it is my dream car....
this car for me i feel it is stable n comfort...
suitable for me n match to my style!!
i 'm not said that i must drive a precious car,
not becoz of want to show off or anything else..
i want it to be my simbol of success in my life....

I'M NOT SUCCESS....
I fail to aim myself to a high achievement~ ~

I feel so sorry to myself.....

Target is a good way to get our success....

Even I'm sad n disappointed,
but i promise to myself...
i wont give up!!
i will grap more n more opportunity
to lead myself to a success way again...

DONT EVER EVER BE A LOSER,
THE WAY IS THERE WAITING FOR US,
JUST BE BRAVE.....
BELIEVE ~ WE CAN!!
ALL THE BEST~...

I BELIEVE ! NOT A DREAM ............
I will try hard, work hard...
no matter how i will get it!!!!
I can do it!

One day, this is not a dream anymore
Kelly Lam can do it....!!!

突然觉得无jor方向...
我真是很怕自己会好像以前那失败啊~~

由小到大， 我就不喜欢看书,
看书真是很闷得...

可能大个jor，现在我会看书，
知道读书，语文的重要....

我好像控制不到自己咯...
很像一盘散沙那....
没heart....没斗心....

我会看励志书，都是想希望找回真能量，
但是原来这样 会累的.......
我真是怕我撑不下去！~~

还有 一个月= ='' 其实我很无奈...>>

I'll search for you throughout the world even if it takes forever, just to be with you ♥

I'll search for you throughout the world even if it takes forever, just to be with you ♥

其实那段缘份，
回忆让我心动，

我相信了爱。。

或许
他的这一句话，
让我觉得
是我自己之前一直都不曾相信爱.....

那么久以来，
我也不知道要怎样才可以真正完全放掉！

那么久以来，
原来我还爱着一个不可能爱我 的他！！

是我错误的决定吗？

缘份...
若有机会，我会珍惜一切，
好好爱他多一次~

缘份.........

Coffee or tea??? 《转身之后》

we usually heard ppl ask
coffee or tea??
today this two drinks suddenly come into my mind~~
haha..
then what is ur choice ?? hehe...

for me i would like to choose TEA~~

Tea...RED TEA OR GREEN TEA???

i juz notice that...
i'm changing my taste!

Habitually...i will order a glass of green tea...
Today something unusual happen~~
i give up a glass of green tea and order a new glass of red tea...

Same thing happen to my feeling....

Dont know why i will have that kind of feeling....

Although i know i should put down the feeling be4...
but i hard to forget!

I think that's y..i try to change my taste to...

Even if i cannot totally forget him,
i can lost  my feeling toward him.......

it this a best way ??
dont know~~ maybe yes~

Almost half year....
till now...some memory in cross my mind
i will never ever forget...
sometime i think back...
i still will laugh at the happiness....

I'm not ready to do any decision until now..

my sisters and brother give me advised...
i keep it...
i still remember...
i have not forget....
they are correct...

cAn i have A glass of RED TEA~~ ???

在他转身之后...我在逃避，
因为我知道分开以后，
不在拥有 彼此的温柔。。

听说是他不想再维持..等等的原因有在我心中疑问着~
我始终没有把真相问清~

或许我觉得不知道，
能将我和他之间的不开心....
都删除....
回忆里只有甜丝丝的感觉...

他说，过去就是过去...
我想，回到过去.....

我真的懂失去的那种滋味！

不用怪谁~
没有对与错~

我~  不再逃避了~

就算以后忍不住再想他..
.我也要把想他的时间减到最少..

            《转身之后》

不想问不想听 这段感情



已经快要暂停


虽然心很痛 却只能说



分开之后 我就要远走

wake up....

hmmm.////

ad Jun....dont know y...really not in study mood....

that is worst...

The most thing that i worry is

how come i cannot escape the feeling.....

huh...dont know....

all the past feeling cannot delate...

although i ad shift delate everything in my laptop n phone..

all memories ...

i have to delate...i know i should...

what i want actually???

Flying colour result??

Continue stay in the memory that wont come back??

Holiday again..^^

aizz...茶饭不思～
not so really enjoy holiday~
can do ntg...missss him....
can`t be with him..
and we need to study..catch up for SPM!..

huhh...our challenge.....
dun know what we will get finally?
hope aim all...'
want to be success leh!
SUCCESSFUL~

remember~ **
what are the thingss we want to aim~

Time past ....earth rotated~~

一天时间突然停了,

在面前开了一扇门，
可能这是快要到了第二个世界了....


试想看如果这一刻的来临...
在心里、脑海里、生活上的一切一切，
都会即将被逼停止，
那么...你觉得你还会做些什么〉？
有人说“死前的人都是勇敢的...
死而已，没怕过///”

好勇....这是为什么呢？
现在的人，贪生怕死...
那里还说义气的...
只会说“哎..钱不够用”
、“很sienz 吖” 、“好忙叻”、

.....
到死了你还会说吗？
要钱？要人陪？要时间？
no....all will the end`` u wont get any offer!!!


在死的那一刻, 应该是会不舍的吧...
家人、情人、朋友...



在活着的时候，难免会 有很多遗憾...
快死了应该会是感触了...
因为 到死了才会感谢曾经所发生的美好回忆...
而遗憾呢？还会闷闷不乐的面对遗憾？？

都不会，其实真正勇敢，真正珍惜，做回真正的自己~~
通常都是快要死的人才会积极地寻找...
难道真的要死了，才来遗憾....
是人的固执..人的心态...
很不可理喻！



一个人，天给他一个生命力，
让他从0开始学习、寻找、幸福、成功直到把他的生命结束起来...
为何？
开始和结束他都需要感恩，而那从0开始的过程？



难道遇上不乐意时就轻易放弃吗？？
别傻.....天其实在给各机会人类...活在当下的人，
每天每秒，每月每年，其实都在改变！
每个人的机会是平等的~~
只在于你是怎样去善用机会~~


难道死的力量还大过生命力？

人真的只会在最后才懂得？

如果说，你的生命只剩那一个小时....

这可贵的一个小时，

你会要什么？？做什么？？

。。。。。。



想了死亡，脑海里闪过无数快乐画面...
人生真的没有重来...
就像到死了那一刻，我都不可能喊..停...
我要回去。。我不要进另个世界...
如果有这个力量该多好...
要死就死，活就活...
哈哈..想得美~~

是我介意！

I was affraid about that...
really scare the things will happen !
not because who is the one he loves...

all is because i mind...i love him!

I dont understand.........
I dont know i what i want...
but i get the ignoring !
how can i survive???

that feeling is break my heart
again, again and again!

i can wait.....
i can do whatever to cover my hurt
i never blame !~
although all those i did are
only will hurt myself...
i dont care...coz i know i miss him~!
doesnt want the distance between us~!
no one will know...no one will realise~!


I WANT SAY

I WAIT YOU~



whatever u did i still care
whatever u said i still remember
whatever u want i will respect...

juz cant accept another fact!
Kelly Lam is throughout
fall in love to him!
he make my life pleasant
with he my life full of aim and future...

I really hope
the time will come again!
i dont want to lost him！

pls.....

A Challenge~

Today 1st time i went to Sunway Collage...
i saw the inteligent stuedents....
Firstly...i feel like cant suit myself to the place...

i know my level....
quiet low~!
dont why..the only thing is
i'm not suit in that level/class...

But...
I set a target to get full certificate to complete my
ACCA in Sunway Collage...

after today...
i'm not getting better and better...
i still lose...

the lost is >>>
I have the way
but the way i go
is actually different than what i'm~

who can tell me how to choose??


i remember
"YOUR  AIM  IS  YOURSELF"
but now....
myself also in trouble...
then my aim finish!

aizzzz....

who know me better?????
i need you!!!!

是我不想去追求，还是我有自卑感所以才办不到？？
看见别人的成就，
总会安慰自己：“或许那个定点不是你要去的”..
可是那个定点是我该去的吗？而我又能去到吗？

juzzzzz

I cant control myself to click in his profile juz now...

everytime i hurt myself only....

the crying feeling still will around!

i dont want tis feeling aa~!

i only want a friend!

i feel  the distance is my fault!

ZOO Trip....>> COUPLE feeling ~

 wah...when come back whole body
wet and smelly leh~ ~
unfortunately we go there
the sky "TI O O"
the rain fall only a while..
then the sun came out again..
but i and my 3rd sister walk along
the wet road..
by the way..we saw a sweet couple..

 

 The guy carry the girl walk along the wet street..

huh....romantic~

 at that time... my heart seem like want to

put down someone...and continue to my own life...

live more happy...coz i still believe ~

in Destiny...

can someone tell me what i believe izit true??/

only can believe ~ juz put down and wait...

Let me stay down alone ~ ~

HIPPO

long time nvr use this term...

miss this word...

is memorable only...

Juz now my 1st sister said

" dun use la..use the other pencil case la "

I know what am i doing...

understand ~

something  wont not come back..

i know....

actually i use only ..

i dont want purposely do something to

forget....

only want to keep the happy memory..

no others meaning..

SOMETIME....

the time will continue run..

my life will continue go on ~ ~

CALL ME >> KELLY LAM >>

ENJ0Y MY DAYS 1~

GALS DAY~

Really best...first time enjoy tour with Janet~

she almost play hide and seek with me

we r in the same popular...

we walked and search for reference book..

we spend 2 hours more only in the popular...

girls buy things r like that 1..

choose choose choose....

the finally can put all the things back and go away....

i'm the 1 ...i buy the things i will consider many many times..

but at last also nvr buy!

Today really a nice day...

no wonder only got 2 dollar, i can oso shopping and buy things

wakakak....

I'm poor enough...

no money n go shopping...

geng ar~!

haha...

I SHOULD THX Janet VERY VERY MUCH!

she is my Pemiutang...

luckily no faedah atas pinjaman!

hahah...

Popular offer leh!

20%

Oh......

i found the same types of motivation book!

i love it!!!!!!wakaka..

so happy!

Dont know when ...

i start to motivate myself by reading this types of book

Last time...i really not a book warm...

although i study...

the extra books i wont look for it oso...

But now...

slowly be affected...

i start to read more~

when i read...

have some feeling...

the feeling is...i'm only in my world...

is more lonely actually~

why?

i dun like lonely oso....

but i know i have to....

i ask myself to be mature...

coz a mature girl will do things well

can manage all the things...

i hope so......

I CAN BE MYSELF AGAIN..........................

I WANT BELIEVE...

I DUN WANT TO DREAM.............................

I SHOULD GO........

I WILL DO ANYTHINGS TO OPEN MY HAPPINESS DOOR!

STOP STRUGGLING IN THAT...........................

Juz want to know..

but that is no answer~

no meaning oso~

I will let it be...

if cant face it..i will off....

no matter is evading the problem or not...

i know i will feel pain...

how many days of the pain can recover.....

is depends how much the love is....

i'm not dare to try.....

i can really feel bleeding~

throughout bleeding~

the first day after 100 Days~

this morning ...
i woke...
the first thing is washing my shoes!
hahaah...
Kelly Lam is a independent girl~~
huhu...
^^

after i wash...
i beh tahan ///
i continue to do house work too...
sweep...mop..........
clean up again~~~

til 12.30pm
then i enjoy my bath!
yea
i love bath so so much...
one day at least 2 times~~

....
1.30 pm
that is my time~
know wat?
yea...watching watcing and watching!!!!
then eat my brunch~ ~

yummy leh!!!
woo.....


stay alone at house....
everytime like that...
my life is alone ~~
i feel it
but...
i wont closed my happiness door..
i still will maintain my mood..
although it is lonely..~

my living style should be changed~
i want to change myself too~

healthy oat milk~
my favourite~!

The 100 Days//

Last 4 days, actually i'm in 2 mind....
On Monday,the terrible cat made me feel dreadful...
it happens at a sudden...
can't control myself...
the stupid cat make my mood gone!
the feeling is like it encroached on me...
the fearful is in my heart...
but that time...i feel...i really feel alone~!

I remember the time when he accompany me...
be with he i no need to scare the cat will come near to me..
 he give me a "safe feeling"...

although ad past..
although all is changed...
I still count the days on.....
.........
actually i hope ..
hope the 100 of the day wont come.....
it means, i can put it down ..
no need to wait 100 days onward....

Today is the 100 days......
how??????
i count alone till 100 days.....
foolish right???
aizzzzz.....

i count and count.....
for what ????
i also dun know....

ON Thursday 10/3/2011...
my school had transmit some english songs..
coz of the English Day...
the song that is my favourate also be transmited...
< RIGHT HERE WAITING >
this song...only when i wait a person
i will do all the silly foolish things........


But ...now....
it comes to the 100 days....
i feel lonely and hopeless....

Juz now...
my sis and my best frenz....
go to K room singK...
some love song recall back my memory..
<  MINE > , < 2 is better than 1>,
< WHATAYA YOU WANT FROM ME >
all these english songs............
becoz of him ...last year i love to listen english songs...

this songs give me a great courage and
confident to love him...........

juz now i watch back the MV....
IS TOUCHing.

I trust what i believe in love be4 is the truth....
only that cant maintain is a obstacle of love.....
give up of the relation...i feel regret......
but no choice....
the next i cant predict but important is
to settle all the problems.......


the only ways is....
i will stop count...stop at the 100 day....
i will care...but the caring is juz a normal frenz care....

i'm consciously understand....
understand what is the things that i should do....
i should do my best..
become normal enough.....


A 100 Days....
the  heart  100 % bleed........
tears fall around...that is fine d....

I tell myslef the 100 day is the last!
no more but is juz a memory fairy-tale~ ~

3..2..1...tell myself to b ok!!!

his figure xxxxxx......it is going far far...more far...

No matter how strong the elastic of my cardiac muscle in my heart...



the feeling , the sorrow........is penetrated to my heart...


when in the quiet condition, it increase the kinectic energy,

increase the frequency of collision....Hence , the rate of reaction


for the hurt @ pain is higher!~ ~

 
 
Yesterday...
i  feel something be4...
i think back.....

i ask myself....
is that true or juz a dream???
how come i cant imagine that is like a fairy tale!
it was so amazing...no trouble...
really a comfortable relation....

that is ..
i miss the feeling.....
i feel that feeling a whole day...
till juz now.....


I still found that many things he did make me disappointed...
make my heart gone again......
it is really lost hope sometime...

Today my classmate sang some classic song...

every words they sang....
for me is painful ~
how to fix in that condition..
i dun know...
i juz sit aside quietly....
REALLY DUN WANT TO BOTHER!!!!!!

i said i'm ok.....
is ok...
but when silently calm down....
that feeling in heart is like a stone....
stuck in my heart~ ~ ~

when i saw his figure...
he is gone,..
gone far far away from me~!!!!

gone~～~～~ ~ ` `

if it is need to forget...why i cant make it??

Juz now while i manage my file..
i want to clear the recycle bin..
when i saw.......
those memorable photo...
what i did??
i press delete...
but i never press enter...
i juz delate other documents...
and....
those memorable photo........
still keep in my laptop...

many things i ignore to delate...

i cant...

Message in my phone...
Photo in my laptop..
Memory in my mind...
He in front of my eyes...

These all are a part of me before....

memory...
every second before
every moment before
every day before
every words before

All is before..all is past....
i always tell myself is past
dont look back...

I care...i mind...
i cant delate!!!!
but i cant love.....
i can wait a person for a long time..
i will...if i still believe....

i dont know...
dont know now i am in what condition...
dont know how to pretend....

i dont want disturb him also....
that is not easy to put down...
no unless...

WHEN YOU LOVE,
YOU WILL KNOW;
MANY HAPPINESS YOU HAVE,
MORE HURT YOU WILL GET.

yes...that's true...
love before...
is a fairy tale......
quite nice..quite sweet....

the wound recover slowly...
while the cell is slowly in mitosis..
the hurt wont disapear but it will be cover only...

BY LEARNING PRETEND
THE HURT IS ONLY COVER..
PAIN WILL SLOWLY GONE...
HURT IS STILL THERE....

LEAD ME TO A PEACE......
I SCARE TO LOVE...

Changing of my life...

Reading is a good way to change myself...
now i juz only realize,
i also love to read.........

if a think cant change
everyday stay in a lonely mood...
bad feeling....
the pain is myself...
nobody can feel it....

Some feeling no need to tell any1..
Lonely lonely...

YOU WILL NVR BE LONELY,
IF YOU CAN ENJOY BEING ALONE....


ya..it is true...
my sis told me be4..
dont blame juz appreciate what u r having now"

enjoy a better life...

to find out myself....
i also dun know where am i actually...

juz to do the things that can make me happy?

loll...watching my favourate...
while watcing...i can laugh cry ...
no need to thinkmany things....

Today his frenz told me
his hand was hurt...
so bad ...nvr be careful..

loll........
in front of his frenz..
even though my frez i also dun know
what to do, when they say somethings about him...

caring cant show ..
the heart the feeling all should keep from them..!

no one can understand~

if i gosip tis topic with mei ling...
lloll...i dun think it can solve easily..
100 days more....
he is the 2nd person i love...

i know i cant let it down.......

DOWN...DOWN...

100 Days

Every happiness should be celebrate..
but how about the sadness....

in my memory...
still got containing the happiness...

today my sis. said
" aiyo..3 month lo..put it down la..
i know u juz keep it deeply.."

i nvr said anythings, i change topic from it..

maybe i know it is waste time to talk about it..

it is not i dun want to put down..
i keep not mean i can't think properly.
only i still try to keep..
and wait the time and feeling past...

it is nothing...
...
i dun want to forget...
is not mean i cant put it down..

the past~ in a mood to close file..

i'm not good ...
i nvr care him~
i feel back what is his feeling be4~
i think it is the worst n unhappy to be with me~

dun know y i sudden feel that
i read back my blog~

i know...
i need somebody cares
but i nvr understand he before...
i fail to fill his life colourful~


i know the past shouldn't to think...
to care..should keep it~

but i have did it wrongly~
i'm not good....
Sorry~

I shouldn't to try anymore...
**

The Only things...

why?????


so pain!!!
i cant express my feeling~~
now i want to write it here...
only i write..i can feel better~

what is that actually??
i cant put it down ??
I dun think so..
but...
is like..want to U-turn~
wanna go back that time~
NO...
is different~
how many i get the happiness,
the double pain i get~

is not love....
is miss....
different...

i cant control.
i go to his profile juz now..
that is ~
i feel different...

coz i feel to cry~
is pain in my heart~

is not i cant think it with better way
it is juz a sadness and disappointed~
but i know this is the end ad~

i think after cry and cry many times
will be all right~


Was he happy???
.........

lol...i guest he wAs ...

all things change~
in the changing of life
i learn..
i must be persist in everythings...
dun ever give up....

if i can make it simple dun think so much~
the end wont change~

i dun know changing of the ending
is good for me or not...
but i know i must only accept...

The only things cant change,
if myself nvr changes!
I must changes~

Valentine Day

what expresison i should have???
sad? emo? lonely?
happy?  enjoy?
searching ??

almost 3 months...
i have been emo ,
sad enough, cry..
feel lost..cant control..

Maybe 1st time...
and i also want to end up all this..
dun want to try...
juz keep..
to be strong..i can~

I should believe before...
but i nvr do that...
i so silly...

Many question i nvr ask
i know if i ask
the answer is 50% hurt again...
i dun know i can survive or not
if i continueously hurt myself....

Should think other ways.........
that is so tired yo be continue..
in the end i only dun want to lose a friend...

that is my Valentine Wish~

i nvr ever want to be with he again.....
what i wish is...
juz be friend ...
is more easy ..but seem like hard to do...
is gam gai...

I understand...
if i nvr do at all...the problem cant solve~
i will try...

I also feel sorry~
the problem need more time to dissolve~

A party...

yesterday..
i went to Foo 's house...
loll..
really can't guess..
i juz know his house is beautiful...

espeacially the small wooden hall...
walao....
i have dream before...
almost same as my dream house...

i hope i can get a special house...
that hall is so fantastic..
when sit on the swing...
the wind blow against my face
huh....
so comfort...
if can look the rainbow
or the sun set more nice..
lol...
i hope have chance..
and i hope this is not juz a dream~~

huh...
finally wanna miss him..
but y??
i ad know, it is impossible...
really scare my feel will continue...
i can't the feel continue...
i know/..
i understand...

maybe 1 year meet..
the year will past...
and...
he won't come..
need him...is  impossible~~
let go jor...
ad gone,..
the love contain with dream
gone..is gone...

how to find back~????
no more~!!!!!


our dream house gone too..
how to build??
no confident ...
T.T

Celebrate my mum birthday...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Mummy~ ~


为妈妈弄的红鸡蛋~ ~~ PERFECT.... 

 

OMG 肚子饿哦~ ~ 妈妈还没回~ ~

MINE

DAD



MUM

就是一个神秘的晚餐~ ~

哈哈...

一放学， 我和爸爸就去买东西了~

。。

有够好笑的...

我们要买的东西，

和买回来的东西是不同的~~

奇怪吖~ ~

哈哈....

我弄得晚餐。。

哈哈...

第一次弄给妈妈吃~

hehe...

although is first time prepare all this

...

they all say delicious leh..

haha...

fantastic....

be a housewife not easy...

these few weeks my mum start

working in factory

then housework no 1 do...

i'm the only child..

so... i will do it...

huh....

someone said have sister so trouble...

everytime will argue...

loll...

why she don't think

sister brother will accompanny us...

will listen to our trouble...

suddenly feel i need  sister  @ brother...

huh...

so bad!!!

everything is like that ...

alone is alone...

can't change~ ~

enough..so sad..

hehe..

after eating dinner...

haha..

the supper is prepared...

haha....

yeah....so tasty......

i love it.........

haha...

this i bought with my dad..

at first ..

we wanted bought cake...

then..

we saw this attracted donut..

then we juz went into the shop and

bought it jor...

after that...

we saw the cake shop...

haha../

i want eat cake suddenly...

but....

we nvr buy it..

>.<

 

wish my mum

healthy forever..

have a happy life!~